Something hazarded, something gained

As I scratch my chin here on the sofa, memories of last evening come to mind. There I was, bouncing along in a taxicab looking smart in a suit and bow tie, accompanied by two lovely ladies--my friends Melanie and Mae. The destination: a California wine and cheese party somewhere in Hayes Valley.

 Fast-forwarding a few hours, we see myself and a green-dress-clad girl named Dimitri bickering about when it was, exactly, that California joined the Union. This was not the first incident of me bickering with a girl at the party. Earlier, this other one Heather and I had gone next door to the convenience store so that she could buy a Duraflame log and I could buy a sandwich. I tried paying for my sandwich with a credit card but the guy said that unless I spent four more dollars, I would have to pay a fee of $1.50, which I refused to pay. I tried getting Heather to lend me money, which she wouldn't, on account that we would probably never see each other again. I told her that she was smart, because if she had lent me the cash, I would have made sure that we never saw each other again. In the end I had to buy a second log to avoid paying the fee. Anyway, now I was at it again with Dimitri, and about to be horrified beyond my imagining.

Before I continue, though, a few words about the internet. Besides overwritten blogs, it's useful for a great many things--it is, after all, an enormous repository of all the world's information that is accessible instantaneously from any location. To this end, it is ideal for settling bets.

 Dimitri was of the opinion that California was established in 1849; I argued that, no, it was sometime in the 1850s. I asked if she wanted to make it interesting. She said yes, and that she had a lot of money. I said that I had a lot of money, too, and wildly set the bet at $100. She dialed it down to $20, which I was immediately thankful for. But she said it was unfair that she had to guess the exact year, while I only had to get the right decade. So I gave her 2 - 1 odds. She agreed, and proceeded to produce an iPhone from her bosom.

People with iPhones are inherently annoying. They're always producing the wretched thing from a pocket or shirt sleeve with that "It just so happens that..." arch of their eyebrows. This time was no different. Nor was it particularly ladylike.

Anyway, I soon became the proud owner of $10 worth of credit due to me--just about covering the cost of a sandwich and a Duraflame log.

With a winning twirl of my bow tie I high-tailed it out of there, drunk and in love with myself.

Comments

[Eric]

Welcome back sir.

[Lindsay]

Haha.

"Drunk and in love with myself" is a winning line indeed.